Some of you have been wondering why I wasn't on this week's TWaT.
Why? See: the post on Leo's faux negativity for the iPhone.
I had written it, but I delayed posting it here because I knew Leo might find the blog, get mad and kick me off for a bit. I was editing it, making sure everything was perfect and I had to use the bathroom quickly. (Additional reminder, No more 10 for 10 Tacos from Taco Bell, I get the feeling that was how they got rid of their rat problem.) So I close my laptop and run to the bathroom. Turns out, Leo's Mac was having problems (besides the obvious being a Mac one) So he claimed anyway. He opened my laptop to 'check for any last minute stories for the show' and there was the post, nearly finished. He was outraged. He barged in the bathroom, started screaming, said I'd never be on his 'netcast' again. Then he fainted. Yes, the tacos were that bad. I took my laptop, and left. I debated not even posting the blog entry but I figured I'd already be punished for it.
Have no fears TWaT Gestapo, I'm sure I'll be on TWaT again. You, my beloved fans will demand it. Besides, Mr. LePort has the short term memory of a gnat, he's already likely forgotten what happened. If for some reason he doesn't however, you and I will always have dvorak.org/blog and here to keep in contact.
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
LePort and the iPhone Factory
I'm sure that most of you are intelligent enough to have figured this out already.
In case you haven't, Leo has only been bitching that he is sick of the iPhone and iPhone news so that he can eventually come out and say that it was better than expected. It's the same trick those Star Wars Geekwads used on the second and third prequel. The first one was so bad, they lowered their expectations to nil so that they could be 'surprised how good the new SW movie was'.
It also has to do with his public persona. He's trying to look unbiased, but who is he kidding. We all know the iPhone is gonna be a turd but Leo will be out there praising it to the heavens just after 6pm next Friday, that is, If (Hand)Jobs doesn't give him one sooner.
Oh, and on a completely related note, don't forget to check out my other blog, dvorak.org/blog. Why is it related? I.... Forgot, but it is.
In case you haven't, Leo has only been bitching that he is sick of the iPhone and iPhone news so that he can eventually come out and say that it was better than expected. It's the same trick those Star Wars Geekwads used on the second and third prequel. The first one was so bad, they lowered their expectations to nil so that they could be 'surprised how good the new SW movie was'.
It also has to do with his public persona. He's trying to look unbiased, but who is he kidding. We all know the iPhone is gonna be a turd but Leo will be out there praising it to the heavens just after 6pm next Friday, that is, If (Hand)Jobs doesn't give him one sooner.
Oh, and on a completely related note, don't forget to check out my other blog, dvorak.org/blog. Why is it related? I.... Forgot, but it is.
Monday, June 18, 2007
iPhone ups its battery life.
From 40 minutes to 80 minutes. Doubling the previous life, what a feat, congrats Apple.
Don't say I never report the good Apple News.
Don't say I never report the good Apple News.
Sunday, June 17, 2007
More on the WWDC Keynote...
I can't believe no one has realized this yet.
It's so obvious that I'm amazed no one is putting this out as news (hell, most of the Apple based sites out there run only on complete fabrications, why not have one based off of obvious speculation.)
By now you're saying, Dvorak, spit it out, what is so obvious that us "Apple Polishers" haven't realized because our heads are too far up Steve Jobs' patoot?
Well, its none other than the touch screen iMac/Macbooks that are coming this fall, right at the same time as OS-X Leopard.
It's so obvious? Why has Apple been adding coverflow to everything they make? First was iTunes, now its their "Finder". Next it's the top secret version of iLife that was leaked to my friends and proud "Apple Polishers" Leo LaPort and Mirlin Man. In it, it has a build of iPhoto with coverflow in it. It's so obvious that they're going to make a Mac with their multi-touch technology in it.
I guess it isn't being recognized as 'news' by these people, because the Appletards just want to pretend to be surprised by the amazing unexpected announcement at Jobs' next bukkake session. The only thing that annoys me is that my editor at dvorak.org/blog won't let me post it there as news. He wants "sources" as if I'm not a good enough source.
Me, what do I think about it? I think this is the worst thing to happen to computers since the mouse. No one ASKED you for a touch screen interface Mr. Jobs, especially not me. Hell, I didn't even ask you for a mouse, I still navigate my Dell PC just fine with only a keyboard and shortcuts thank you very much. This is just another way to get people used to the broken touch screen interface that the iPhone has. It doesn't work for the iPhone, and it won't work for the personal computer. Again Mr. Jobs, you are barking up a tree that has nothing of interest at the top. But again, what would you expect from a company like Apple, who time and again innovates us into the crapper.
It's so obvious that I'm amazed no one is putting this out as news (hell, most of the Apple based sites out there run only on complete fabrications, why not have one based off of obvious speculation.)
By now you're saying, Dvorak, spit it out, what is so obvious that us "Apple Polishers" haven't realized because our heads are too far up Steve Jobs' patoot?
Well, its none other than the touch screen iMac/Macbooks that are coming this fall, right at the same time as OS-X Leopard.
It's so obvious? Why has Apple been adding coverflow to everything they make? First was iTunes, now its their "Finder". Next it's the top secret version of iLife that was leaked to my friends and proud "Apple Polishers" Leo LaPort and Mirlin Man. In it, it has a build of iPhoto with coverflow in it. It's so obvious that they're going to make a Mac with their multi-touch technology in it.
I guess it isn't being recognized as 'news' by these people, because the Appletards just want to pretend to be surprised by the amazing unexpected announcement at Jobs' next bukkake session. The only thing that annoys me is that my editor at dvorak.org/blog won't let me post it there as news. He wants "sources" as if I'm not a good enough source.
Me, what do I think about it? I think this is the worst thing to happen to computers since the mouse. No one ASKED you for a touch screen interface Mr. Jobs, especially not me. Hell, I didn't even ask you for a mouse, I still navigate my Dell PC just fine with only a keyboard and shortcuts thank you very much. This is just another way to get people used to the broken touch screen interface that the iPhone has. It doesn't work for the iPhone, and it won't work for the personal computer. Again Mr. Jobs, you are barking up a tree that has nothing of interest at the top. But again, what would you expect from a company like Apple, who time and again innovates us into the crapper.
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
crApple
So people have been emailing me over the last 3 days all asking the same thing.
"John, what do you think of that Apple Keynote from Steve Jobs?"
Albeit, they usually don't spell it out that well.
As amazing as it seems, my editor has been cutting back my 'Apple baiting'™ posts even though people want to know what I really think about it. He says if I do it too much, the Appletards will start ignoring all I say. Pshaw. We all know Appletards don't think that far ahead. The inane rage they get from someone criticizing their holy company is too much for them to start thinking about it rationally.
Over the next few days I'll give you little insights into what I found interesting about the glorious leader's speech to the fanatics. I've given you all hints at what I think on my other blog (Dvorak.org/blog, which can be found at dvorak.org/blog), but as I said, my editor there keeps telling me to post about something else. So I'll use this soapbox instead.
On to the topic at hand.
Really, The WWDC Keynote can be summed up by how it started. Steve (hand)Jobs started the keynote by bringing out a constipated drunk. Seriously, go to apple.com and watch the first 5 minutes and tell me that the president of EA doesn't look both drunk and constipated. Go on, I'll wait....
You see what I mean? What in the world was up with that? Obviously, what Steve is trying to say here is that you have to be a drunk, constipated moron to make games for the Mac. Hello people, Apple has tried this again and again begging developers to make games and it's always gone nowhere. Even their most rabid exclusive game developer went and bailed and sold themselves to Microsoft back in the day. You really think anyone but the 5 Appletarded gamers would even know who Bungie software was, or what Halo was If they'd ended up releasing the game as a Mac exclusive? No. They knew better. Yet somehow Apple thinks that they can somehow bring gaming to the Mac with some terrible ports of games that no one plays, even on the PC.
And people wonder why I think the heads at Apple doesn't know their heads from their asses.
"John, what do you think of that Apple Keynote from Steve Jobs?"
Albeit, they usually don't spell it out that well.
As amazing as it seems, my editor has been cutting back my 'Apple baiting'™ posts even though people want to know what I really think about it. He says if I do it too much, the Appletards will start ignoring all I say. Pshaw. We all know Appletards don't think that far ahead. The inane rage they get from someone criticizing their holy company is too much for them to start thinking about it rationally.
Over the next few days I'll give you little insights into what I found interesting about the glorious leader's speech to the fanatics. I've given you all hints at what I think on my other blog (Dvorak.org/blog, which can be found at dvorak.org/blog), but as I said, my editor there keeps telling me to post about something else. So I'll use this soapbox instead.
On to the topic at hand.
Really, The WWDC Keynote can be summed up by how it started. Steve (hand)Jobs started the keynote by bringing out a constipated drunk. Seriously, go to apple.com and watch the first 5 minutes and tell me that the president of EA doesn't look both drunk and constipated. Go on, I'll wait....
You see what I mean? What in the world was up with that? Obviously, what Steve is trying to say here is that you have to be a drunk, constipated moron to make games for the Mac. Hello people, Apple has tried this again and again begging developers to make games and it's always gone nowhere. Even their most rabid exclusive game developer went and bailed and sold themselves to Microsoft back in the day. You really think anyone but the 5 Appletarded gamers would even know who Bungie software was, or what Halo was If they'd ended up releasing the game as a Mac exclusive? No. They knew better. Yet somehow Apple thinks that they can somehow bring gaming to the Mac with some terrible ports of games that no one plays, even on the PC.
And people wonder why I think the heads at Apple doesn't know their heads from their asses.
I've been thinking, should I change my name?
Basically, I have been wondering if I should change my name. I've thought about this time and time again over the last few month, ever since Leo LePort started calling me Mr Dvorak.org/blog and sometimes Mr. John C. Dvorak.org/blog on the TWaT Podcast. I mean, you have to admit, it has a ring to it.
Hey, I just had a good brainstorm. I should probably get Johncdvorak.org, mrjohncdvorak.org and misterjohncdvorak.org just in case. With Leo saying it like that, I might be losing precious hits on my blog. Maybe I would be getting millions more.
Back to the name thing. I would get in contact with someone from the government to find out how hard it is to have your name changed, but then they'd have my phone number. I wonder how long it'd take the 'Google brand' satellites in the sky to take my picture for the government if I used a payphone. Maybe if I make it quick I could get away before the DoD even got ahold of someone in Google.
Still though, John C. Dvorak.org/blog. Damn that sounds so svelte. I really should look into it.
Hey, I just had a good brainstorm. I should probably get Johncdvorak.org, mrjohncdvorak.org and misterjohncdvorak.org just in case. With Leo saying it like that, I might be losing precious hits on my blog. Maybe I would be getting millions more.
Back to the name thing. I would get in contact with someone from the government to find out how hard it is to have your name changed, but then they'd have my phone number. I wonder how long it'd take the 'Google brand' satellites in the sky to take my picture for the government if I used a payphone. Maybe if I make it quick I could get away before the DoD even got ahold of someone in Google.
Still though, John C. Dvorak.org/blog. Damn that sounds so svelte. I really should look into it.
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
So you've figured it out, finally.
I got an email just now that I thought I'd respond to on the blog. I'm not sure how this person got my private email address. I wonder if they're from the CIA.
"I herd U say on TWaT podcast that U useed 2 work in the mailing lists. Is that the rael way 4 how U gets no spam?"
Hmm. Apparently this person isn't from the CIA. They must work in Apple as an iPhone tester. See, I told you. Look at how well that iPhone Keyboard works, Appletards.
Anyway, finally one of you numbskulls has figured it out. I mentioned on This Week's Anal Techheads that I used to have a stint in the mail order mailing list buisness. So, Yes, I have connections from my mailing list days. The word was spread to leave the big D alone when they made the transition into email from paper mail. They're loyal like that. As long as I keep giving them any email addresses that you give me by emailing me, they just thank me and let me be. As always, thanks to all you fans for supporting me, intentionally or not. Oh, did I go all that time without mentioning dvorak.org/blog?
"I herd U say on TWaT podcast that U useed 2 work in the mailing lists. Is that the rael way 4 how U gets no spam?"
Hmm. Apparently this person isn't from the CIA. They must work in Apple as an iPhone tester. See, I told you. Look at how well that iPhone Keyboard works, Appletards.
Anyway, finally one of you numbskulls has figured it out. I mentioned on This Week's Anal Techheads that I used to have a stint in the mail order mailing list buisness. So, Yes, I have connections from my mailing list days. The word was spread to leave the big D alone when they made the transition into email from paper mail. They're loyal like that. As long as I keep giving them any email addresses that you give me by emailing me, they just thank me and let me be. As always, thanks to all you fans for supporting me, intentionally or not. Oh, did I go all that time without mentioning dvorak.org/blog?
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